The Purina Diet

[Kierra]

I have a Golden Retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I
was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because
I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most
of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.