contemplating marriage ..... think again!

Got something funny to post? Here's where you have that opportunity!

Moderators: .Web Crew, JoKeRs Officers

contemplating marriage ..... think again!

Postby Kierra » Sun Jul 24, 2005 4:28 am

You have two choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."


A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted"
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:

"You can have mine."


When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.


A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked,
"Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."


Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.


If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."

A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man, to love and to forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.



AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!


Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."


The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so just shut up."
Image
User avatar
Kierra
Guild Officer/Hooker
 
Posts: 541
Joined: Thu Dec 09, 2004 4:16 pm
Location: Sin City Baby Las Vegas

Postby Flutterflies » Sun Jul 24, 2005 7:11 am

hahahaha
User avatar
Flutterflies
> Flutterbye
 
Posts: 439
Joined: Wed Dec 08, 2004 10:50 am
Location: Sunny So Cal

Postby Gninja » Sun Jul 24, 2005 7:41 am

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.


roflmao
Image
User avatar
Gninja
Guild Leader
 
Posts: 3180
Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 2:59 pm
Location: San Diego, California

Postby Anonymous » Sun Jul 24, 2005 10:17 pm

ROFLMAO
Anonymous
 

Postby Hago » Wed Jul 27, 2005 11:51 pm

LOL
Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken, but you can stil get one from a strange country :-P
User avatar
Hago
Board NewB
 
Posts: 39
Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2005 1:33 am
Location: DK

Postby Moskiz » Sun Jul 31, 2005 11:46 pm

:-x
User avatar
Moskiz
Board NewB
 
Posts: 48
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2005 9:35 pm
Location: Mesa, Arizona, USA


Return to JoKeS!

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests

cron