Story I recieved in the email...

[Gninja]

And you thought you had it bad Hope you get a good laugh. I wouldnt share
this with you but now you know why I dont want to wax--this would be my
outcome and I would be telling the story lol


>
>
>All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy,
>painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the
>wax.
>My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix dinner,
>played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully
>in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of
>the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the
>bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot
>wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get
>warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever else)
>and hair comes right off.
>No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly, girl but I
>am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!* So
>I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
>stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair
>dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh how this
>phrase haunts me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin
>around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't
>too
>bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra,
>fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire.
>With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I sneak
>back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I
>drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same
>procedure I apply the was strip across the right side of bikini line,
>covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside
>of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace
>myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY
>GOD!!!!!!!!!
>Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the
>strip. S&%T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly and
>spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to see
>my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused me
>so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my
>triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.
>Where is the hair. WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot
>still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on
>the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S&%T I run my fingers over the
>most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and
>matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...................remember
>my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do
>something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of
>the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. Butt?? Sealed shut. I penguin walk
>around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself
>"Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off" Hot
>water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand
>into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax
>should melt and I can gently wipe it off right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get
>in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture
>prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the
>only thing worse than having your nether businesses glued together is
>having
>them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In
>scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm
>stuck
>to the bottom of the tub!! God bless the man that convinced me I should
>have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend thinking surely
>she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a
>very
>good conversation starter "So, my butt and who-ha are stuck to the
>bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret
>trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know
>exactly where the wax is located on bottom "Are we talking cheeks or
>hole or what?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give
>her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the
>box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
>While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off
>with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies
>covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and
>then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working,
>dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My
>friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving
>grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I
>really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
>The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend,
>but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty
>congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove
>the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and
>despair.................................
>.THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. So
>I
>shaved it
>off.
>Heck, I'm numb at this point.
>
>Next week I'm going to try hair color......
>
>
>Well behaved women never make history.
>
>
>-Valerie

[Debillus]

LOL good one =)

[Flutterflies]

Hmmmmm looks like and email I received this morning :p Hope that never happens to anyone I know or they will hate me.