ACTUAL CUSTOMER SERVICE PHONE CONVERSATION:
>
>This has got to be one of the funniest in a long time. This guy
>should have been promoted, not fired. This is supposedly a true
>story from the WordPerfect help line which was transcribed from a
>recording monitoring in the customer care department. Needless to
>say, the "Help Desk" employee was fired. However, he is currently
>suing his employer for "Termination Without Cause." Again, this is
>the actual dialogue of the former Customer Service Department
>employee. Now I know why they record these conversations.
>
>Here's the conversation:
>
>"This is Richard in customer assistance. May I help you?"
>"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
>"What sort of trouble?"
>"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
>"Went away?"
>"They disappeared."
>"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
>"Nothing."
>"Nothing?"
>"It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type."
>"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
>"How do I tell?"
>"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
>"What's a sea-prompt?"
>"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
>"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
>"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
>"What's a monitor?"
>"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
>"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
>"I don't know."
>"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
>cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
>"Yes, I think so."
>"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
>into the wall."
>"Yes, it is."
>"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were
>two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
>"No."
>"Well , there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
>other cable."
>"Okay, here it is."
>"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
>back of your computer."
>"I can't reach."
>"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
>"No."
>"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
>"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."
>"Dark?"
>"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming
>in from the window."
>"Well, turn on the office light then."
>"I can't."
>"No? Why not?"
>"Because there's a power failure."
>"A power ... A power failure? Aha ... Okay, we've got it licked now."
>"Do you still have the boxes & manuals and packing stuff your
>computer came in?"
>"Well, yes. I keep them in the closet."
>"Good. Go get them, unplug your system and pack it up just like it
>was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
>from."
>"Really? Is it that bad?"
>"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
>"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
>"Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."